Friday, 17 June 2011

Final Fantasy 13-2 will....

Suck. No, this isn't me jumping the gun, I don't need to see the full version to know it's going to suck hard. How do I know this?

Well, I've just watched a preview from E3, hosted on Blistered Thumbs. This video doesn't show much of the game, only the battle system from 13 (which I quite liked for it's strategic value) and 'Cinematic Action Sequences'. Wait, what's a cinematic action sequence? Well, as the square employee explains, it's where the game 'brings up a button prompt that you have to react to'...

THAT'S A QUICKTIME EVENT YOU MORONS!!

Excellent, that's just what final fantasy 13 was missing. Motherf**king quicktime events. I don't care if Square Anus are removing the linearity and putting in NPCs to talk to and adding towns to explore (and I don't believe for a second they know how anymore), they not only decided to include quicktime events but seem to think it's something new to final fantasy. What about Final Fantasy X, where we all had to stroll across the thunder plains hitting a button to dodge lightning? The fact that you've included a lot more in this doesn't mean it's new or good.

This is the equivalent of someone making a new 3rd person hack'n'slash game ala God Of War, and cheerfully stating they've added in a camera that gets distracted by floor tiles while you're in combat.

Oh well, maybe 15 will be worth something, assuming the company survives long enough to make it.